He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
