Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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