Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
