My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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