I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
