I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Randomize