I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
