You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
When are your genitals available?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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