You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
