the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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