if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
