I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
