Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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