Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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