Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize