Buhtt sex?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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