Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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