Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
