Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
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I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
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They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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