I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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