they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize