I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
