The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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