Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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