I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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