i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
