absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
