alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
