Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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