whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
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You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You were trust falling into bushes
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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