I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
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The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
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Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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