Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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