is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
