just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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