I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
