Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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