We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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