It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize