You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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