remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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