awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
