Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
