remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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