$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize