if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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