What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
