He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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