Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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