god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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