I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
