Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
