How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
