better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I still have a little drunk in my system
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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