I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
