Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
