escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You're like the curious george of whores
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
They have beer where we have blood.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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