Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
